


In the silence between battles

by Timid_Timbuktu



Category: Falling Skies
Genre: And the dangers of selflessness and selfishness, Angst, F/M, Just a lot of angst from these two beautiful characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-29
Updated: 2015-07-29
Packaged: 2018-04-11 23:01:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4455854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Timid_Timbuktu/pseuds/Timid_Timbuktu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The war has ended and Maggie tries to do the right thing. Unfortunately for her plans, Ben also strives to do the right thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the silence between battles

**Author's Note:**

> This fic came out of my long-developing love for these two characters, their very compelling relationship and some of the recent developments during the first part of the final season. It seems like many in the fandom don't ship them, but I sure do.

He had learned to tune out noises, but standing on the edge of the water with the forest at his back, he felt the sounds creeping in.

The flapping of a fish in the middle of the lake.

The rustling of the leaves as a breeze drifted in.

The soft crunching of her footsteps.

He stifled a smile at the thought of her trying to sneak up on him. Only she understood how impossible that was, how he could hear a footstep from a quarter mile away when the world was quiet. Or maybe she wasn’t trying to sneak up on him. Maybe she respected the tranquility because only she understood how hard it was to find peace when one had super-hearing.

He felt her stop beside him as she gazed out at the lake. His mouth twitched into a faint smile at the smell of gunpowder that still lingered on her hands.

For many moments neither talked and Ben marveled at the simplicity of their existence. Maggie was comfortable with silence just as he had always been, not like Hal and Matt and every other person on Earth who had to fill the void with babble. Maggie’s silence was one of Ben’s favorite things about her because it made the sound of her voice that much sweeter.

“I guess it’s over,” she said quietly so as not to break the peace.

“I honestly never thought this day would come, that the war would end,” Ben replied. “I hoped for it and acted like I believed, but …” He trailed off, knowing that Maggie would understand.

“It’s terrifying,” she said after a pause and Ben closed his eyes with contentment. She understood. She had always understood him, with or without the connection of the spikes.

The spikes. As if they were still linked, the minute he thought of them, Maggie touched his arm gently and turned to him. She raised her fisted hand and opened it to reveal three tiny spikes resting inert in her palm, wires dangled lifelessly from each.

“I wanted to give your spikes back and say ‘thank you.’”

“Keep them.”

“Ben—“

He shook his head and turned away. “I gave them to you. Keep them.”

“But I don’t need them anymore,” she replied. He felt a piece of himself break at those words. I don’t need _you_ anymore. That’s what she meant. He placed his palm out and tried to seem unaffected as she returned the spikes.

It was over. Their connection. Their relationship. Any feelings that Ben had been fool enough to believe Maggie had, it was over. She was giving those feelings back to him. They were just three tiny pieces of alien metal. 

He counted the seconds in his head, waiting for her to turn away.

The lapping of the waves, the rustling of the leaves. He couldn’t hear any of it. He could only hear her breathing and the racing of her heart. She was afraid, just like him. He could feel it coursing through her body, the connection between them still tangible despite the removal of her spikes. And it made him wonder if she could still feel his emotions. Could she feel how his desire and turmoil scorched the air between them?

“I love Hal,” she whispered. Ben closed his eyes and breathed out. His brief hope had been in vain. Only Ben could still feel their connection, because for him it had never been about the spikes. For Ben, it was love. But it had been nothing to her. Now that she was healed and her spikes were removed, her feelings had evaporated.

“But you mean the world to me too,” she said. Her voice closer this time. Ben hadn’t heard her move, too lost in his thoughts. His eyes snapped open as he turned toward her and furrowed his brow. He had no idea what to say so he simply stared into her eyes, marveling at the beauty of them. Green like the forest behind him, vibrant and dark at the same time.

“That’s why I can’t be with either of you,” she whispered and finally her face fell, the corners of her mouth turning down.

These words were not what Ben had expected. It seemed to take forever for him to absorb them and find the only possible solution.

“But you love Hal more.”

“Ben, I—” Her mouth opened and closed as she tried to find words to explain her feelings. Finding nothing she finally pursed her lips and shook her head.

He took a tiny step toward her and lightly grasped her arm. She was wearing a jacket and he longed to feel her soft skin underneath the fabric.

“You loved Hal without any alien tech,” Ben said. Again Maggie tried to speak so he tightened his grip and charged ahead. “You love him in a pure way. You never have to question where those feelings came from. Don’t give that up because of me and these spikes, Maggie. You know you felt nothing for me until I gave you my spikes.”

“That’s what you think?” she said, stepping away. Her eyes were alight with anger. “That I felt nothing for you?”

“Maggie.” Ben’s voice was pleading. He’d escaped the skitters and embraced the alienation of his powers, but none of that had been as hard as this, giving Maggie up. All he wanted was to wrap his arms around her and lose himself in the curves of her body.

“You know that isn’t true.” The venom in her voice stopped Ben from responding. “And you also know that the spikes were just an excuse. They amplified our connection. They didn’t create it.”

He’d wanted to hear Maggie say those words for so long, but they didn’t matter now. Maggie loved Hal more. Maggie belonged with Hal. Ben felt like tears could come if he let them. He pushed them down and stayed unemotional.

“I understand your decision,” Ben said, proud when his voice didn’t falter, “but I don’t see why you and Hal should suffer too. I will never let your relationship with Hal come between any of us. You don’t have to give him up for me. Please don’t do that.”

Maggie bit lightly at her bottom lip. So supple and flushed and all Ben wanted was to taste her lips again. He closed his eyes so he could find the strength to finish his speech. “I couldn’t live with myself if I knew that you and Hal denied your happiness because of me. Don’t put that burden on me.” Ben opened his eyes and gazed into hers. He clenched his fist around the three metal spikes, letting the physical pain ground him. “Please, Maggie, I’d rather see you happy with him than miserable because of me.” 

“Goddamn it!” She yelled into the heavens, turning away from Ben and kicking pebbles into the lake. “Why do you have to be so … you?”

Briefly she advanced toward him as if to pummel his chest. He steeled himself, ready for the onslaught. Without the spikes, she had normal human strength. She couldn’t hurt Ben and if she needed to pound her fists into his chest, he could give her that. But why was she suddenly so angry? He didn’t understand.

Instead she turned back to the lake and kicked more pebbles into the water. They sprayed out like a barrage of tiny missiles as Maggie continued to curse. 

“Why do you have to be so goddamn selfless?” She cried, turning back to Ben. “Are you trying to make this harder for me?”

“No,” Ben said quickly, feeling his anger rising as well. Making it hard on her? Why was Maggie making this hard _on him_? Couldn’t she just say _thank you_ and go back to Hal like she wanted? “I love my brother and I care about you. It doesn’t matter if you give both of us up or if you go back to him. Either way I’m—“ he clutched his chest convulsively, trying to find the right words, “I’ll get over it. And I’d rather see you and Hal happy. Just be with him, Maggie. I got over a lot worse in the war.”

She shook her head in anger and ran a hand through her hair. Ben would miss those hands, calloused but gentle.

“Do you know what Hal said when I told him that I cared about both of you and that’s why I needed to leave? That I needed to walk away and never look back.”

Ben shook his head. Walk away? She’d said nothing about leaving permanently. She’d said that she couldn’t be with either of them, not that she had to leave.

His insides were churning at the thought of losing her completely and he couldn’t form words.

“He said,” Maggie continued, “‘how can you still think that you love my brother now that his spikes are gone?’”

It sounded like Hal, and it was a valid question. Ben couldn’t figure out why it was making Maggie so angry.

“I told him the same thing I told you,” Maggie continued. “That I cared for both of you and I didn’t want to come between you. That your relationship with each other was more important. And he said, ‘Fine.’”

“Fine?”

“He said I was right and if that’s how I felt maybe I should leave.”

Ben felt like an even greater asshole at hearing this. 

Hal loved Maggie that much? He couldn’t even stomach the thought of her being with Ben? He'd rather see Maggie walk away for good? It was hopeless. Ben had to convince Maggie to return to his brother. Ben needed her to be in his life, even if she’d never be at his side.

“Then I think your choice is obvious,” Ben stepped toward her and ran his knuckles along her cheek and down the curve of her neck, finally letting his hand rest gently on her shoulder. He knew he should keep his distance, but this might be the last time he ever got to touch her. He forced the words out even as they broke his heart. “The spikes are gone. The connection is broken. Be with the man you love. I promise I won’t let anything come between my relationship with either of you.”

“The man I love,” Maggie whispered, taking Ben’s left hand in hers. She pulled it up between them and coaxed his fingers open to reveal the three spikes. When she ran her thumb along them, Ben felt a shiver pass through him as if the spikes were still embedded in his spine. His right hand tightened on her shoulder and he sighed in longing.

“I was going to be altruistic," she said, "but then you had to come along and outdo me.” She lifted her eyes to look at him and suddenly nothing else existed except her. The heat from her fingers. The way she worried her bottom lip between her teeth. How the dilation of her pupils pushed away all of the hazel and left only an outer ring of dark green.

The whole world was Maggie. Ben sucked in a breath and held it, trying to hold on to this moment.

“I came here to let you go,” she said.

Somehow Ben found his voice. “Then let me go.”

“So I can be with Hal?”

Ben nodded.

“What about my feelings for you?”

“I’ll still be here,” Ben replied. “I’ll always be your friend. You won’t lose me.”

“I don’t want to be your friend,” Maggie whispered and the softness in her voice gave him hope for the first time. “I don’t want to be your friend, but I also don’t want to hurt Hal.”

Ben’s heart sped up. In the war, Ben had learned that hope kept the soul alive, but false hope destroyed it. He didn’t know what she meant by these words and he didn't want to hope for something he couldn't have.

“I came here to give you up, Ben, and you responded exactly how I should have expected. With love and kindness. And you just ruined all of my plans.” Maggie paused, measuring her next words carefully. “I care about you both, but I don’t want to be with Hal anymore.”

“And me?” Ben said so quietly he was worried she couldn’t hear him. The world felt like it was being blown apart again. A new war was raining down on him because in the next moment his fate would be decided. Maggie would either let him go and he would break apart or she would move toward him and he wouldn’t be able to push her away. Nothing, not even the threat of losing Hal’s love, would give him the strength to turn away right now.

The pendulum had to shift. They couldn’t hang here beside the lake forever trapped between two possible futures. But Ben hoped for neither outcome because both would lead to pain. The selfish part screamed at him to lean toward her, but Hal kept entering Ben's thoughts, pressing his legs to walk away. 

He couldn’t lose Maggie but he also couldn’t lose Hal. Could he ever have both?

Before he could decide, Maggie did it for him, closing her hand over his palm. She leaned in slowly, obviously giving him the chance to step away. He didn’t.

Her lips found his and he closed his eyes. Every taut muscle in his body relaxed as she took his bottom lip between hers. Maggie was gentle in a way that once would have surprised Ben. When he’d first met her she was all anger and edges and hardness. He loved those edges, the ones that had protected her from the cancer and the war. He adored that she was both soft and firm. He reveled in the fact that she had grown to trust him enough to show him the fragile pieces. He loved that beside each hardened callous she held a delicate petal of hope.

Without thinking he stepped into the kiss, deepening it, exploring her mouth with his. He laced his fingers behind her neck where the scars of his spikes were still rough.

She moaned softly and Ben lost all reservations. He pushed thoughts of his brother aside. The spikes tumbled from his hand, clattering onto the pebble beach as he wrapped his other arm around her waist. He needed every inch of his body to be touching hers. He couldn’t get close enough to her, but he tried. And she met him perfectly in the middle, her teeth nipping at his lips as she pulled his jacket from his body.

Weeks ago, when Maggie had decided to remove the spikes, it had hurt Ben. He’d never told her, but it felt like a rejection of him even though he knew that she hated the loss of control that came with the spikes. Now, as she slid her fingers along the lines of his stomach underneath his shirt, he felt grateful for her decision. The spikes would have tainted this moment. They’d tainted every other kiss because they’d made him wonder if her feelings were real. 

But now, the connection of the spikes was severed and she was still here. She had chosen him, maybe not forever. But regardless of the future, she was choosing Ben in this moment, with the sunlight glittering off of the lake and breeze rustling through the forest.

Ben tore his mouth from hers long enough to whisper, “I love you.”

He didn’t expect a reply. He didn’t need it because the longing in her touch and the heat of her skin was enough.

He told himself that he didn’t need his love to be returned, because he still couldn’t believe that she might truly love him. He still expected Hal to show up like he always did and steal this moment.

However much Maggie could give, he would take it. He told himself that he didn't need the words. 

But when she whispered, “I love you too,” he felt his heart give way, felt the sky open up and the earth tilt. He needed those words desperately.

He pulled back and grinned at her, grateful to see his joy mirrored in her face. Against all hope, she’d chosen him. And for as long as she chose him he couldn’t turn away. 

He reached his hand out toward her and suddenly remembered a different moment in a different world. A moment during the war when Maggie had stood on top of a building, Ben’s spikes freshly implanted into her spine. She’d been afraid then, as she’d stood on top of that building. Until that moment, Ben hadn’t believed that Maggie was capable of fear. She was always in control. But in that moment she’d needed Ben’s courage and he’d given it. He had reached out his hand and hoped that she would take it and jump. 

Now, standing on the edge of the lake reaching out his hand to Maggie, Ben was terrified. This jump was so much harder than jumping from a building. The future was hopeful, but uncertain. 

With the end of the war, Ben no longer knew what each day would bring. He would no longer wake up with his purpose so clearly laid out. The war was over but there were still so many battles to fight and a world to put back together. 

There was a chance Hal would never forgive him for loving Maggie. There was an even greater chance Maggie would come to her senses and leave. For the first time in years, the future was open and it was terrifying.

Maggie smiled at him, clearly seeing the apprehension in his eyes. Unlike that day on the building her eyes were clear. No hesitation. She grasped Ben’s hand and they walked together into a world without the war.


End file.
